A spouse’s perspective on ADHD
Ben was diagnosed with ADHD about four years ago.
Well, I am a nurse, and I am a wife, and a mother of four kids, and my husband has ADHD. ADHD impacts my life significantly, with my husband. When we are trying to manage finances, plan trips, raise kids, it has a huge impact. It's not simple.
Ben was diagnosed with ADHD about four years ago. That was after I had been prompting him for six months to get some help, and it came to a pivotal point where I was ready to just kind of give up on the relationship. After the birth of our last child, I felt so overwhelmed with trying to manage two little boys 18 months apart, plus our other two kids, and feeling like I also have to manage him, and keep him on track. I felt like his mother instead of his wife.
There were lots of signs for ADHD. Many times, I would tell Ben that I really believed he had ADHD and would encourage him to get some help. Several times, we would go to counseling, just because I was so frustrated, and we would go through counseling, and focus on our relationship, but really, I think the underlying tone was that there was something undiagnosed. There was nobody saying to him, "Hey, do you think maybe you have ADHD, or there's something else, and maybe you should go get some testing?”
With the diagnosis of ADHD, Ben was seeing a psychiatrist for the medications, and that's really all they did, was manage medications. There was no counseling at first. There was no other tool provided to him. In moving to the local area, he had to change providers, which was great now, in retrospect, because with his provider, he was able to connect with a counselor there, and he was asking for more tools and resources. Through that process, one of the counselors that he was seeing knew someone who had gone through Progressive Therapy Associates, and said, "Hey, I think this might be of benefit to you."
Through this process, I've learned that there are a lot of individuals who are missing out on therapies that could be helpful, that it doesn't just have to be medications. It doesn't have to be that you're ignoring it. There's all kinds of different things that you can do, and when you aren't getting those tools and resources, you're missing out on a full life. The other thing about it is that ADHD impacts the whole family, and if I'm ignoring the symptoms I see in my husband, I could be ignoring the symptoms I see in my children.
Ben is more than ADHD. He's a great man. He's a great dad. He's a great husband. He's a great chaplain. But people didn't see that, because he was all over the place. My husband would say that if I hadn't encouraged him to seek out resources and help, that he would have never done it.
We see individuals with ADHD, traumatic brain injury, and concussion as well as stroke.
When people think about speech language pathology, they typically think about speech disorders or language challenges, which speech therapists can do, but here, we've just chosen to focus more on the cognitive aspect and when I say that, I mean things to do with focus and memory, speed of processing, planning, problem solving, organization, all those daily skills that help you to really function and organize your life.
If you're someone who's struggling with attention or memory or planning for instance, for a variety of reasons, you can self-refer. You can pick up the phone and call us at 701-356-7766. You can find us on our website and submit your information and come for a free consultation or your primary care doctor can also refer you for treatment at Progressive Therapy Associates.